Have you ever had one of those moments where something you've known for a long time just clicks? I just had a moment like that.
I was just listening to some praise music, and the first song was in Portuguese. It began with a woman asking the audience if they could praise God for His help through all circumstances, big and little things. Her tone was almost ... well, I would have to say tearful. This seemed a little overwhelming to me at first: the tearful, pleading "act" has a tendency to annoy me. But then I thought about Brazil, and how, as in many other Latin American countries, there are manyu people living in poverty. I have been very impressed lately by the faith my Compassion children have, and it hits me again and again how much more the poor truly have to rely on God and his providence. I thought of my young lady from the Philippines, how every time I've sent her a gift, she says it is an answer to prayer. In this, I am not saying that I want her thanks: no. I am happy to be the instrument of God's love to this girl and the others that I sponsor.
Anyway, back to the music. As I was thinking more about the attitude of the Brazilian woman in the recording, an image of a woman came to mind, a woman who had been a drug addict but was now saved and depending fully on God's sustenance and care. I know some people like this, but this woman in particular was a Brazilian sister. I don't know anything about who that woman on the recording was, but maybe that was her story. I can only guess at how much she has to depend on God from day to day, and how much appreciation she has for His love and care for her. No wonder she was crying and smiling all at once. Likewise, I've heard about so many wonderful things that God's Spirit is enabling people to do in and for developing countries. Faith in these countries looks so different compared to faith in the States. I write to my Compassion kids about God's love and care for them, but something tells me that what I write doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what they know of Him. Being so dependent on God for everything is just mind-blowingly amazing to contemplate.
The next song I listened to was Mighty to Save, a version recorded by Jeremy Camp which I really liked. That got me really thinking about that phrase: mighty to save. It's something I really need to ponder more, but I was still thinking about the third world (not a term I particularly like, but...) and the things being done there through the Chruch.
Then ther was a song by Leeland, a group I haven't listened to very much, called Via Dolorosa. I haven't done that much thinking about the crucifixion and its true implications for a long time, maybe even since the night nearly 12 years ago when I gave my life to Christ. Even then, I didn't fully understand it, and perhaps I never truly will this side of Heaven. However, these thoughts put me in the perfect mindset for the next song, Here I Am to Worship, a song that for years I've considered overplayed. However, this time, a phrase in the first line grabbed my attention: "Open my eyes, loet me see / the beauty that made this heart adore you." That just seemed really powerful to me at that moment, and I could almost palpably feel His arms around me, His longing to hold me and my longing for it too. When it came to the chorus, I was truly in a worshipful mindset, and was just in awe that the Creator of the universe wanted to love on me so much. It was a neat moment, and a challenging one too. What will my life look like after tonight?
As I left to take care of the laundry, I was a little shaky, but happy at the same time. I thought of how I didn't want to lose this feeling, and the title of a Keith and Kristyn Getty song popped into my brain: Don't Let Me Lose My Wonder. For years, I have longed to never lose my faith in God. I did for a time in February 2011, and it was a very scary moment for me. Thankfully, it didn't last very long, and I think I have only gotten stronger since. I think I'll go listen to that Getty song now. :)